This is a compilation of blog posts current WMI students have written about their experiences while living in DC.

The Hottest Pop-up Bar to Hit DC: Get your scare on with haunted dolls and spooky drinks at Pub Dread

By Lauren Richey

Time of year again where the dead come out to play… and drink has passed, but Pub Dread was one of the hottest pop-up bars this year. Shaw neighborhood bar owner Derek Brown and the Drink Company outdid themselves again with this Halloween themed pop-up. Apparently, when designing the rooms, employees were interviewed about their deepest fears, which were then brought to life.

When you entered the bar, you were immersed into the haunted forest. Watch where you go because you might run into a snake hanging from the ceiling or spiders crawling on the walls. Don’t worry they are fake of course… right..?

Adjacent to the forest was the doll parlor, filled with hundred of vintage dolls and toys. It looked like they raided every antique shop in a 30 mile radius. They even had a doll named Cordelia, who is suppose to be haunted. Some of the employees noticed her messing with their phones.

“We would get random texts and emails from her phone that were just gibberish,” says Matt Fox, who helped design the space. “She would even open up your phone and pull up a text message, and it would just start typing without her touching the phone. We’re pretty sure Cordelia possessed her phone.”

Next was the crypt. You would find it decorated with tombstones with the names of the employees on them. They also had these coffins that are great for taking pics in.

Thankfully, the last room was less scary. The “Spacebar” was dedicated to the late David Bowie. There was a giant mural of him on one of the walls, astronauts and disco balls hanging from the ceiling, and colorful lights electrifying the room.

The cocktail menu incorporated fall flavors such as apple cider, pumpkin, and yummy gummy brains. Drinks such as The Dead Will Walk Again and BeetleJuice! BeetleJuice! BeetleJuice! were crowd favorites. They set you back around $14, but trust me, these drinks were one of a kind.

You’ve probably heard of their other popular pop-up bar themes including Mario Kart’s Cherry Blossom Garden, Christmas themed Miracle on Seventh St., or the summer hit of Game of Thrones. Each one keeps setting the bar higher and higher.

How to Impress Your Employer

By Paige Ross

Having recently graduated college, I have been faced with the difficulty of pretending to know what I’m doing and be an adult. I recently moved 634 miles across the United States to Washington, DC and am interning at a PR and events company that works primarily with organizations affiliated with the military. Having received my degree in psychology, this internship is a bit out of my comfort zone, but I love it.

As a career-chasing collegiate, you’re probably doing everything you can to land the perfect job – like I am – and one of the biggest questions you might be asking is: “How can I impress my employers enough to get them to hire me?”

As a disclaimer, I have not been offered a job yet and am still working on these ways to impress my bosses.

Arrive early

Aim to get to work at least 5 minutes early so you’re not rushing around once you get into the office.

Be consistent

It’s common to have waves of productivity, but try to stay consistent so they know what to expect from you.

Be resourceful

If you don’t know something, look online before going to your boss with questions, but don’t be afraid to ask them. With that, take lots of notes so that you know what is going on and what questions to ask.

Be the yes man

Offer to help when it’s needed. Take on as much as you can, but don’t be afraid to say no when you are stretched too thin.

Proofread

Even if you think it’s right, read it again. And don’t be afraid to ask a coworker to look it over too.

And the most important of them all…

Be yourself and relax  – you will be just fine.

The Dupont Underground

By Bobby Gehlen

The dark and mysterious tunnels under Dupont Circle had remained abandoned for over 40 years.  The thoughts of how to repurpose the crumbling trolley car passage from the 1940s are bizarre to say the least.  Proposed ideas ranged from a place to store the ashes of the deceased, to a children’s playground in the late 1960s, to a fallout shelter during the Cold War.  A food court was established in the 1990s but the idea failed soon after its completion and remnants of the restaurants remain to this day.  Despite this short lived idea, the passageways had remained uninhabited for almost half a century.

As a regular bystander not taught what to look for, one might mistake the entrance to the Dupont Underground as an unassuming maintenance tunnel.  At another glance, the red walls adorning the exterior staircase and intricate murals lining the walk down show that this is much more unique than a regular metro entrance. The 75,000 square feet of space, separate from the D.C. metro, span across two stations and a series of tunnels running north and south.

The Dupont Underground was the only proposed idea that was able to last in the abandoned passageways.  It was established in 2005 and their goal is to… “Transform a public work – the subterranean streetcar station in Dupont Circle – into a new public infrastructure to support creative exchange, contemporary arts practice, and an ongoing conversation about the city.”

Today, the Dupont Underground features theatre performances, art galleries, concerts, spoken word poetry, educational talks, and many other forms of artistic expression.  Their objective has transformed into encouraging the public to, “push disciplinary boundaries and reflect the diversity of our communities.”  

From what was once just an idea to bring artists together has now transformed into a cultural epicenter for all forms of creative expression to be represented in the D.C. area.  The not-for-profit venue offers multiple exhibitions each month in an exchange for a “ticketed donation.” Information about scheduled visits or the organization itself can be found at www.dupontunderground.org.  

The top 20 things 20somethings should do in DC this fall

By Holly Cameron

Fall is one of my top four favorite seasons. Between the crisp leaves, the warm drinks, Halloween, and Thanksgiving, it’s a magical time of year that so many busy young adults take for granted. Therefore, in honor of this being my first fall in the hustle and bustle area of Washington, DC, I formed a list of the top 20 things every 20something in DC should do this fall.

1. Check out Pub Dread

The creators of the notorious DC Game of Thrones bar are back and this time with a little more spook. According to their website, “winter has come and gone for Drink Company, and we’re ready to celebrate fall and fright in Pub Dread.” This Haunted bar will only open for October at 1839 7th St NW Washington, DC 20001.

2. Go to an apple orchard

Something I noticed when I first started researching what to do in DC is that amount of apple orchards in this area! Whether it’s with the girls for a photo-shoot or a day date with your partner, apple orchards are an easy option for a fun fall Sunday.  

3. Bake some Pillsbury’s seasonal sugar cookies

No explanation needed! These guys are so yummy, and any excuse to bake cookies is a good one. They can be found at almost every local grocery store.

4. Go watch a Redskins game

Fall and football go hand and hand. Therefore, in honor of being in Washington, DC, go to a local sports bar one Sunday afternoon and cheer on the Washington Redskins. Even if they’re not your home team, so many fans will surround you that it won’t be hard to pretend.

5. Get down at the Murder House Party! (A Renwick Gallery Opening)

The Smithsonian American Art Museum is opening a thrilling new exhibit titled Murder is her Hobby by Frances Glessner Lee and the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death. The exhibitexplores the surprising intersection between craft and forensic science. It also tells the story of how a woman co-opted traditionally feminine crafts to advance the male-dominated field of police investigation and to establish herself as one of its leading voices”. The Museum will celebrate this opening on Friday, October 20th with a party that includes House music, specialty drinks, and more.

6. Race to see the 17th Street High Heel Race

According to the event’s Facebook page, “the High Heel Race is one of Washington, DC most unique events with a rich history of ‘Crossing The Line Since 1986.’ On the Tuesday before Halloween, hundreds of costumed drag queens show off their extravagant outfits and race down Historic 17th Street, NW.” The race will be taking place on the 24th at 9pm.

7. Treat yourself to some fall comfort food

Indulge yourself in a fall themed cheat day. Start the day off with a pumpkin spiced latte and an apple scone. For lunch and dinner, eat warm dishes such as turkey chili or pumpkin ravioli. End the day with some Halloween candy.

8. Spend your Hallo-Friday at Night of the Living Zoo

On Friday, October 27th from 6:30pm to 10:00pm the Smithsonian National Zoo will be hosting a party so grand it might haunt you to miss it. According to their website you will, “witness death-defying acts and amazing oddities at Friends of the National Zoo’s annual adults-only Halloween party… Ghouls and goblins will enjoy craft beer, fare from popular D.C. food trucks, a spooktacular costume contest, and performance artists while dancing to music at the DJ dance party.”

9. Spend your Hallo-Saturday at Nightmare on M Street

Saturday, October 28th hosts the 19th Annual M Street Bar Crawl. “On Saturday, October 28th, DuPont Circle is coming alive and transforming from trendy to terrifying! Lindy Promotions, the ghostess with the mostest offers all the Halloween Crawlers:  cover-free admission, top drink specials, costume contests, fun prizes.” Registration for this events starts at 2 and goes until 6.

10. Host a fall themed movie marathon

Invite your friends over and host an evening strictly dedicated to your favorite fall movies. This can be anything from Dead Poets Society to a horror film marathon. Simply something that puts you in a “fall-like” mood. Pair it with some kettle corn and apple cider and it’s guaranteed to be a hit.

11. Have a drink (or more) at the DC Beer Festival

On November 4th, the Nationals ballpark will be home to a major brew fest. According to the beer festival’s website, the event will “bring together dozens of craft breweries that will feature fall seasonal beers, plus food trucks, lawn games, DJs, and more.” There will be 200 beers to try, and even if you don’t plan on drinking too much, it’s still a cool way to check out DC’s Nationals baseball field.

12. Museum shop at the Strathmore

From November 9th to November 12th, the Strathmore will be hosting its annual Museum Shop. There will be 18 vendors from DC museums and cultural shops. “The fabulous finds at the Museum Shop Holiday Market make marvelous gifts, and they also support nonprofit museum and arts organizations in our community.”

13. Take a Hike

Once the weather cools and the leaves are falling, go to one of the multiple hiking trails in/around DC to enjoy the beauty. Not only does this make for a picture perfect day, but it’s also a refreshing way to get a workout in. Check out Trip Savvy’s list of the best hiking trails in the area.

14. Spend your Veterans Day paying tribute to DC’s famous memorials

Veteran’s day this year falls on November 11th, so spend this Saturday giving homage to our nation’s heroes at one or two of DC’s famous memorial sites. A few locations include: Arlington National Cemetery, Vietnam Veterans Memorial, World War II memorial, Navy Memorial, Air Force Memorial, ect.

15. Grab some friends and head to the Pancakes and Booze Art Show

There are three things that every 20something loves and they would be pancakes, booze, and art. As DC’s “premier underground art show” it features over a hundred emerging artists, live DJ’s, body painting, live art, and a FREE pancake bar. This event will take place on November 15th at 8pm at Penn Social.

16. Watch Donald Trump’s first Presidential Turkey Pardon

Each year, the current US president celebrates the upcoming Thanksgiving by pardoning one lucky turkey on the White House lawn. This tradition is already extremely entertaining and can only be even more compelling with current controversial president Donald Trump taking the lead.

17. Attend a Friends-giving

In case you’re unaware; a friends-giving is basically a thanksgiving with your friends, rather than family. This fall, gather a group of friends to hold a friends-giving, with everyone bringing a signature dish or wine. It’s remarkable how fun a thanksgiving can be in a young-adult setting, opposed to alongside your 12-year-old cousins.

18. Check out the fall-theater

The East Coast is home of some of the nation’s best theaters, and DC is no stranger to Broadway-type shows making appearances. Some of the shows coming to DC this fall include: The Book of Mormon, Mean Girls, Death of a Salesman, When Life Gives you Clemens and more.

19. Awe at the National Harbor Christmas Tree lighting

Transition from fall feels to winter wishing at the National Harbor Christmas Tree lighting on Thursday, November 30th. “In 1923, President Calvin Coolidge walked from the White House to the Ellipse to light a 48-foot fir tree decorated with 2,500 electric bulbs in red, white and green… 93 years later, this American holiday tradition continues to bring citizens together to share in a message of hope and peace.”

20. Have a relaxing night in

Yes, everything on this list is an experience that is worth having this fall, but the one thing every busy 20something needs the most in life is some “me time.” So whip out your apple cinnamon candles, binge watch some American Horror story, or do whatever it is that will put you in your happy place, even if it is for just one night this fall.

How to move across the country and live on the East Coast

By Kristine Xu

So maybe you’re thinking about coming to the Washington Media Institute to further enrich your education. Maybe you’re a fresh graduate who’s looking for the next step. Maybe you live across the country and you’re not sure whether or not it’s doable to take this next step on the East Coast.

For a fresh graduate who’s lived on the West Coast for most of her life, there was nothing more tantalizing than flying across the country to try and start my life on the magical East Coast. Now that I’m here, I can assure you that it’s completely doable — it just takes some planning and bravery on your part.

Now that it’s nearing the end of week 4 and I have a slightly better grip on exactly what it entails to move cross country, here are some tips and tricks to help you out.

Pack light

On an early morning at the end of August, I loaded up my mom’s car with a duffel bag, a suitcase and a backpack. That was all I was taking with me to the East Coast for the next three months. Packing light is essential to moving, especially if you want to do it on a budget and relatively stress-free. Pack only what you absolutely cannot part with because you can buy other non-essentials (such as an entire sock collection or all those outfits for going out) when you get here.

Travel efficiently

I went through four years of college without a car, and I didn’t intend on changing that anytime soon. I touched down in DC a week before the program began and I started researching all the ways that I would be able to navigate the city.

The most popular way of traveling is by metro, but that adds up overtime and becomes a bit claustrophobic. The base fare for riding the metro is $2 and that fluctuates depending on what time of the day it is.

Since I had spent most of college riding my road bike religiously to class, I decided to purchase an annual capital bikeshare pass for 96 dollars a year (or a measly 8 dollars per month!). But biking isn’t ideal when it’s hot, rainy or if my destination is miles away.

I finally found a happy medium through the bus, which isn’t as daunting when you do some research on bus routes. You can even download the NextBus application to help you navigate! My favorite route is taking the Circulator to Adams Morgan for just 1 dollar.

Mind your wallet

It’ll be tempting to eat out for every meal because you’re in an exciting new city with all of these food options at your disposal. That’s probably not the best idea when you’re living in DC on a student budget. Think of ways to minimize expenses by preparing meals at home.

Every morning I make sure to brew myself a cup of coffee and pack enough food for breakfast and lunch for the day. A thermos allows me to be on the go with my cup of coffee, while also reducing the amount of throw-away cups that I use. I also try and pick foods that are easy to carry and high in nutrition (fruits and granola bars) so that I don’t end up hungry. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to scrape together peanuts for your meal every day. There are plenty of ways to treat yourself in the district, it just takes some research and flexibility.

An apple a day

The last tip I have is to be conscious of your health. You’ll be working hard and managing a jam-packed schedule full of socializing, activities and events. The last thing you want to happen is to end up bedridden and sick, throwing a wrench into your routine.

Being healthy doesn’t have to be a huge life change, complete with early morning exercise and a vegan diet. Rather, shifting to a couple mindful habits throughout your day can go a long way.

I try and fit in at least two hours of exercise a week, whether that’s going on nice long runs through your neighborhood, choosing to walk up the stairs instead of taking the escalator, or even just walking or biking to class instead of taking public transportation.

I also try and eat a balanced diet. Don’t get me wrong, I love eating junk food as much as the next person, but I try and focus on eating healthy before I start foraging for snacks. It’s cheaper than eating out, it’ll help clear your skin, and it’ll give you more energy to keep going through the day to explore this wonderful new city.

I’m excited to call DC my new home and exploring all it has to offer. Even though I will always miss my home in California, I can’t believe I’ll be experiencing my first East Coast fall so soon!

1:6

By Christian Brosnan

Everyone going into the public relations, advertising, and/or marketing fields understands the concept of an agency, but not everyone gets to experience it. I have been lucky enough to get a taste this summer of all that this particular realm of the industry has to offer and cannot overstate the positive effect it has had on my personal growth. Much of this is owed to the organization and people I interned for, who believe that all interns can bring more to the table than just getting coffee and doing work around the office. Working here has created a summer of growth and learning that will guide me for the rest of my life.

At my particular internship, I am entrusted to be part of six different teams that work on various campaigns for a multitude of companies. This leads me to the most important component of working at an agency: as a twenty-one-year-old I get to contribute work to real companies that people interact with on a daily basis. Not to diminish the importance of in-house public relations, but in my opinion, working at a single company would not privy me to such widespread experience. Additionally, the fast-paced nature and consistent intensity of agency life, while calling for a well-oiled personal time management system, led to a greater learning experience.  

This relentless workload funnels me into another cornerstone of agency life that is often overlooked but remains crucial. Work at an agency, due to varying factors, does not always end at five o’clock, but often remains constant. The work ethic needed to maintain deadlines is large, yet meeting those deadlines creates quite a feeling of accomplishment.

The amount of work also forces you to become more confident in your own work. The rapid pace of agencies puts a heavy burden on deadlines and calls for everyone’s work to be completed well. This is often a drastic change for students who have only experienced school. In the professional world, but especially in agencies, everyone else is extremely busy and does not have enough time in the day to complete their own work let alone walk you through every step of the process. Whether it is a pressrelease, a blog post, email and pitch construction, social media post, etc., there is a need for you to quickly create content, work hard and trust that you did it well.This was an intimidating aspect of this summer for me. I had published work with and without my name on it for a different company in the past, but there my deadlines were far more generous and I had a large number of people checking my work periodically. This summer, I was expected to put forth good work right away, and I could not be more grateful. Agency life also demands confidence in your co-workers – that they will be upfront with you and tell you when your work missed the mark. This leads me to my final point about the positive effects of agency life.

In agency life, and particularly at my summer internship, the average age of employees is rather young. In my office, I believe the median age is 25-26. This adds an element of relatability and friendship that bolsters the overall internship experience. Working alongside people in a similar age demographic adds to improved comfort levels and better collaboration in the office space, and in my opinion also creates a more enjoyable work environment. Thus making networking easier and enhancing the work/life balance. It also increases the learning process because your co-workers remember the feeling of being in your shoes and want to help you.

Prior to this summer I had a very limited interest in public relations agencies; however, the experiences that I have gained from my internship have changed me in ways that I have only begun to understand. I might be busy all day, but I can confidently say that I have never felt happier or more proud of what I am doing. This internship has not only taught me about myself and my work ethic, but it has also shown me more about the world. I firmly believe that everyone who wants to work in the public relations industry should begin at an agency.

Ode To My Heat Coast Summer

By Ana Lewett

Weather on the East Coast should not have come as any surprise. I couldn’t of heard more weather warnings if I tried when I told my friends and family I would be interning in Washington, D.C. from May through July.

“You’ll be in D.C. in July?” my West Coast friends would jeer, as if humidity was the most offensive thought in the world. “Oh, get ready, that place sucks during the summer.”

I wasn’t excited when one of my favorite teachers and journalists said the hottest he’d ever been in his life – after embedding in Afghani forces in the Middle East and climbing 14ers in the peak of summer in Colorado – was driving through Washington, D.C. with no air conditioning.

Great, fantastic – I had to commit to turning into some kind of amphibian for the summer. At least I’d lose a couple pounds in water weight, I guessed.

Showing up my first day in the District, I was expecting the worst. And I got it. I lugged 72 pounds of clothes, a box of *heavy* sheets and towels (that I didn’t need) and my dolphin pillow pet in and out of a beautifully air-conditioned apartment building in full-blast D.C. heat. I thought that would be the sweatiest I’d ever be, as the freshly hardened sweat on my body would just melt again when I stepped out of the AC. It wouldn’t be. After four caked layers of humidity and sweat from my trips in and outside, I was finally able to shower, extremely bothered and thinking of the precautionary steps I would take the next day to avoid that from ever happening again. 

It happened again. And again, and again. Entering the metro station, dripping. Showing up to work, soaking. At the Gay Pride Parade, beads of sweat rolling from my under-boob, down my dress, and onto my foot. True story. All this information is necessary to gain a full picture of what East Coast humidity really means.

How do people live like this? I began to really question what the point of all this was. It wasn’t getting easier; it was never going to get more “pleasant”.

So I was trapped in the terrarium that is D.C. until August, heat lamp on and an occasional misting to keep the humidity overbearing. You’re going to have to adapt or die, I thought to myself. It’s simple natural selection. Some people aren’t cut out for it- only the finest of our species have the grit to live in this kind of weather and still work in the center of our nation’s happenings. I was going to persist. One hundred degrees and 87% humidity will just have to be the new norm.

And eventually, it was. I went down to the beaches of North Carolina one weekend, and as I left the car for the first time since leaving D.C., I took in the 20% increase in dampness with a smile on my face. OK, I didn’t last for more than 15 minutes. But I almost kind of liked it for a second. Air-conditioning was starting to feel too dry and sterile. Heat and humidity brings soul and character. And that’s something I can live with.

So, turn the AC a little lower and open that window; I’m starting not to mind the wet air so much.

“We Hold These Truths…”?

By Kali Woods

A sense of patriotism ravaged the capital, as strangers from different places gathered together to revel in the anniversary of our country. American flags blew gracefully in the breeze as innocent children ran carelessly through the grass with their sparklers; barbecue grills kindled with the pungent aroma of charcoal smoke; couples kissed passionately under the fizzling of the bright fireworks as if it were midnight on New Year’s Day; their smiles illuminated the night sky.

I wanted to be as joyous as them. I wanted to celebrate. I wanted to feel that same sense of pride, but my heart was conflicted.

When I look at the White House, I’m immediately enticed by its beauty. It stands unwavering in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the city, serving as the symbol for American prosperity. Everytime I see it, all of the giddy anecdotes I’ve heard in my history classes over the years instantly come to mind: a rotund William Howard Taft stuck in his presidential bathtub; a 

 

 

 

cute, little John F. Kennedy Jr. hiding under the resolute desk; a smiling Bill Clinton playing with his dog, Buddy, on the White House lawn. I wish it could all be so sweet and simple, but as a Black woman in America, my conscience forces me to look past the picture perfect facade that our history books have painted over the years.

 

Thomas Jefferson’s words replay over and over again in my mind: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights….”  Every year we celebrate the power held in these words, boasting about how much more morally sound America was in comparison to other countries back then, but where were the rights of my people? As I meditate on these words, I think of the many women who looked just like me, who were raped by the same Founding Fathers that pushed for the ideals of a just society. I think of the very White House that we admire so much that was constructed by hundreds of slaves laboring tirelessly under the watch of their relentless overseers, only to be denied entry for centuries into the very house which they had built. Where was that “liberty and justice for all” that we recited every morning in school? How had I celebrated the founding of my country for so long, knowing it was built off of the backs of my own ancestors?

 

I instantly felt disgusted in this holiday and myself, as I had found conviction in my own intersectionality. I was battling between my desire to be one with my fellow Americans and willfully acknowledging the struggles of my shortchanged ancestors. My mind wanted to explode.

I racked my brain trying to find a way to balance the two conflicting parts of me, and after digging deeper, I realized that the two sides had more in common than I originally thought. Jefferson’s same words, reiterated by Dr. King nearly two centuries later, allowed me to see that our country’s history is not perfect, but that we are a work in progress. America’s founding principles of equality, democracy, liberty and justice, although oftentimes found to be hypocritical, are the same coveted values that have inspired and still do inspire my people to push through their tribulations. I’m proud to be Black. And I’m proud to be an American, not because of my country’s foundations, but because of the steps we’re now taking to achieve the goals we should have from the beginning.

D.C. Drivers

By Carly Fernandes

Living in Lafayette, California for my whole life, I have not been exposed to much.  As everyone from my area says, my town is a bubble. We are lucky enough to have the opportunity to travel 20 minutes into the beautiful cities of San Francisco and Oakland, but they are nothing like D.C.  One of the main takeaways I have had so far from my time here is that D.C. drivers are absolutely ruthless.

Whether I am in the passenger seat of an Uber, walking down the streets, or simply listening to the street traffic from my window at night while I’m trying to fall asleep, drivers in Washington absolutely horrify me.  I fear for not only my life, but the lives of everyone around me every time I am around a car or hear the excruciating honks that seem to occur at a constant rate.

Now, some of the locals in D.C. or New York might just say that is classic city driving.  I may come from the West Coast where things run a little differently, but I will never understand why it is necessary to lay on the horn for 30 seconds the instant the light turns green.  Maybe everyone here is in more of a rush than in San Francisco, but the honking is not going to get you there faster. Maybe it’s the culture to drive this way. Is it embedded in D.C. locals that the polite and most efficient way to drive is to swerve through cars without hitting the brake? Or forgetting to stop for pedestrians? You better run across that street as fast as humanly possible – even though you might have the right away, that will not necessarily stop a D.C. driver.

It truly amazes me that I do not see more car accidents occur in Washington D.C.  Maybe this style of driving works for those who have to deal with it.  I don’t know how I would handle it, considering I cried and popped my tire the only time I’ve ever been honked at.  After spending seven weeks in Washington D.C., I have come to the conclusion that East Coast city driving is most definitely not for me.  

Is There Room in the National Budget for a Dehumidifier?

By Michael Preston

It has quickly become the thing I dread the most about every morning. No, not the alarm. Not the daily grind of the upcoming workday. Not even the small fortune that I’ll inevitably be spending on food for the rest of the day. Nope – the thing I dread the most every morning is checking the weather app on my phone to find out the humidity forecast for the day. This daily routine has turned into a sadistic exercise where I get to envision just how much sweat my shirts and slacks will likely have to absorb today, as well as just how much I will be suffering during the short journeys from apartment to Metro station and Metro station to work. It is safe to say that I don’t do well in this climate.

How anyone can do this on a regular basis for years and years is beyond me. Suits? Dark suits? Sleeves? Summer heat? Any kind of heat? What kind of monster decided this was a good idea? And when will business formal shorts become a thing? Feel free to join my movement to introduce shorts and sleeveless jackets to the guidelines of business formal as I unstick my shirt from my back and look for something to wipe the sweat that is glistening on my forehead.

Maybe I’m spoiled from the dry mountain weather of Boulder or the Mediterranean climate of my hometown in California…no, I’m definitely spoiled. But I have no idea how I’m supposed to adapt to this change short of showing up to work in a tank top and flip-flops. I thought I sweated a lot when I work out, but it is a whole other level when you are trying restrain said sweating. I think I sweat more when I know I should not be sweating. What a fantastic situation to be in!

The best part is that it’s only going to get hotter! Despite locals claiming that August is the hottest month of summer, that title actually goes to July, according to the Washington Post. And the summers have only been getting hotter and more humid over time, meaning in a few weeks’ time there’s a possibility that all that is left of me is a husk drained of all fluids. Please send help in the form of industrial-strength fans and ice packs or this blog post may be my last form of contact with the world.

Until sleeves become optional in the workplace and Calvin Klein introduces a line of formal sweat-wicking apparel to compete with Under Armour, my feelings towards the humidity will be firmly planted in the “Above 75” category even if the actual weather is in the “60-65” region. This naïve California kid is not cut out for the wrath of Mother Nature.